Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Throw In the Towel: Castro Resigns

Today marks a somewhat historic day, where an old bastard by the name of Fidel Castro has resigned from office as dictator of the trillest island in the world, Cuba. That's right folks, The Beard has finally hung up his ridiculous 50 year old cow-shit-stained green fatigues,(you'd think he would dress a bit flyer living in a tropical island). Infamous for excavating an entire country, starving a society that was once more advanced and prominent than the US, and forcing families to be exiled to Miami(where we built an empire from a drug trade and hatred towards him, so, bonus bitch), he now leaves Cuba in turmoil.

This pole sniffer is also most notable for making a douchebag by the name of Che so famous that hipsters in fucking L.A. went bankrupt copping his corny ass T-Shirts. Well here you go you courageous revolutionaries, you die-hard martyrs wearing designer clothes with dictators painted across your weak ass chests, here is our support for your extrordinary cause:


Stick a fork in him he's done.

In no way shape or form does this bitch Catro's resignation bring any type of consolidation to my peeps, but at least we see this old fuck admitting some type of defeat. I mean, this jerk off was so brutal rumor has it a 2 year old son of a *wajiro once picked up a cigar leaf off the ground, and this communist chump had the boy's fingers snapped just so the government could divide the leaf amongst the entire island in support of Karl Marx's worthless manifesto,(oh yes I did). Well soon enough this retired snake-charmer looking bum will have his day.

Looks worried huh:

The picture above was taken while a Cuban rooster slowly pecked at his scrotum, and the hardest Cuban boxer took a shot at his ribs during a taping of the Calle Ocho free Elian days. Ouch.

While this is merely a political ploy by the Cuban government to aleviate the transition from Fidel's reign to his piss-brain brothers failure, I do project the following is going to happen.

That's me on my way to Castro's home after a night of binging at the local cabaret. My apologies to anyone within a 3 mile radius, your families will be reimbursed with a beach named after them. Hey, look on the brightside though, soon we could all make pace back to the homeland, sip mojitos, and spark a spliffy. It'll look something like this:

On that note I leave you with this fullfilling video clip of the "great" leader that so cleverly manipulated a great nation:

Take that homie.

*Wajiro: Recognized as a Cuban cowboy. One who disintegrates an entire cigar on one pull while strangling a bull with his right hand and groping a vuluptiuos breast with the other.

Posted By Los for Pimpin' Pens

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