Wednesday, November 21, 2007

DVD Review: Garbage Pail Kids

I couldn't resist the urge to devote an entire post on my favorite movie ever. This movie I am alluding to is none other than than the colossal mega-blockbuster hit of 1987 Garbage Pail Kids. I think I might be exaggerating the box-office impact of the movie, nevertheless, this movie has earned its place in the annals of American cinema masterpieces. I know a lot of you people are probably thinking what is this dude smoking on, or what is this guy retarded or something, but I don't have to answer to anybody this is my blog, and I call the shots around here. The plot of the movie was based on a series of baseball trading cards featuring vulgar and grotesque cartoon characters, which really took off and gained massive popularity in the mid 1980's. Windy Winston, Al E. Gator, Messy Tessie, Nat Nerd, Greaser Greg, Valerie Vomit, Foul Phil, comprise the crew of miscreants from Pandora's Box. My personal favorite is Greaser Greg because he will shank you if you try to play tough guy with him. In summation the movie revolves around the protagonist, a young man named Rodger who chills with a magician.
The antagonists are a group of bullies, the head bully being a dude by the name of Juice. Anyway the majority of the film is essentially this kid Rodger being chased by Juice and his goon squad, until he accidentally opens up Pandora's Box while he is chilling at the magicians shop one day. The garbage pail kids catch Rodger's back against the bullies, but Rodger has to catch their back in turn in order to not get roped (thrown in jail) by the State Home for the Ugly, an institution for people too ugly to commingle with society. The ensuing madness includes everything from blowing a dudes moustache off with your flatulence as in the case of Windy Winston, to vomiting all over an entire audience of spectators at a fashion show as is the case with Valerie Vomit. The movie even has the ill animatronic puppet special effects along with a I am an 80's baby so this movie had a profound impact on my life, and reminds me of my days as a baby gangsta in the streets of my suburb. I am fully aware that many people think this movie sucks ass, what can I say except not everyone is blessed with the refined cultural taste it takes to acknowledge this movie's artistic merits and contributions to American cinema. Recognize the realest flick ever, pure fire, instant classic. Two thumbs up!

Enzow aka (TripleSix Ninja)
Pimpin' Pens

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